Self Love

Ok, so MRI last friday, appointment with the neurologist yesterday. He was a funny guy, made the news a little less scary. Turns out I have swelling in my spinal cord which means either my nervous system is fighting off a virus (how do you get a virus in your spinal cord?) or possibly I have MS. Yes, that's a little scary to say. I don't think that's what it is though. I think it's just a fluke. I think the swelling will go away without any interference from me (except for a diet of all-natural healthful foods) and without intervention from the doctors. What more can I say?

I just turned the corner on my 20s. Adios my dear little 20s. I will miss you, but I have bigger fish to fry. This year, this 30th year of mine, is all about me and getting me healthy so that I don't have to go through someting like this again. Bleh. The MRI alone is enough to make me cry. I can't believe I have to have another one...this time for my brain..."only your head will be in there," so my husband says. Silly man, it makes no difference. It's a yucky experience...one that perhaps will be softened by a martini, or a glass of wine...anything to keep me from feeling claustrophobic, I am not generally so, but this little tube...ugh...it gets to me. That and the noises...I imagined them as words last time...one of them repeatedly said, "back, back, back, back," another said "pow, pow, pow, pow." I know it's weird. It makes you feel a little crazy. So looking forward to it again!!

It's time!

Time to knit and crochet!!! Yes, it's 100 degrees outside, not sure why but my internal meter says it's time to pull out the yarn again. It's also telling me to paint and draw a bit too. I hope there's time for some more clay work as well!

A good question...

...I'm still going through with the MRI...but...I was talking with my mother earlier and she brought forth an idea, a thought that had been lingering in the back of my mind for awhile, well ever since this numbness started. About 5 weeks ago I had an IUD placed, I never would have thought it could be the culprit to my numbness and tingling. Turns out I could be wrong. I came across a site tonight, a forum, and it seems that I am not the only one with this numbness and tingling and it is generally located on the left side. I feel bad for others who have gone through months of tests and treatments, even thinking perhaps they had MS only to realize that this was truly the problem. Other side effects for people have been headaches, joint pain, insomnia, extreme irritability, nausea and heart palpitations. Aside from the headaches, that's me. I had a bad feeling as it got closer to having the IUD placed, I should have listened to my instincts.

I called this evening and made an appointment to have it removed. I want it gone. Even if it's not the reason for my numbness, I have to rule it out!!!

Positively positive

Ah, chalk one up for the laundrygirl!!! Being all proactive, that's me. I decided to call to try to schedule my MRI and I did!!! Friday, woohoo...one step closer to figuring out what's up. I'm trying to stay positive too, there's no point in getting depressed or stressed, I just need to focus on good thoughts. I think of it in terms of a minor annoyance. It's not like I'm immobile. I'm walking and bending and kneeling (not too much though, that's just the weirdest feeling EVER!). I'm still healthy and this is just a sign to slow down and take some measures to ensure my health for the future.

The shot above was from the other night. It was one of those slightly magical nights that just make you happy to be alive. The girls were excited to be out running around and I was happy to be taking pictures and Alex, well he says as long as his girls are happy he's happy. Lily sure had a good time. But there's not much that gets her down anyway, except for tiredness maybe. :o)

~fair to middlin~

~that's how I feel right now~

It's fair to say that I am usually healthy as a horse. I really thought by now I would be back to normal. No numbness, no tingles...no such luck.

Obviously I'm functioning, we went to the fair in Nevada County today and we had a great time. Lily just did not want to leave. She pet a cow today and said "ooooh, scawey!" She's so cute! She did it though...she's a brave girl!

Emma did beautifully as well, she was so interested in everything going on around her that she forgot to be cranky at all...until the ride home. :o)

As we walked around I had to check every once in a while to make sure that my knee wasn't swollen...it felt so strange but no swelling, just numbness. Just weird. I am fighting not to get frustrated. I saw the doc on Thursday and really thought they would have called on Friday to schedule the MRI, but I heard nothing. Now, I realize that they have no idea what I'm going through but one would think they should have just been able to schedule an appointment while I was at the doctor's. Even if they couldn't get me in right away at least I would know there may be some answers sometime soon. In the meantime, I feel numb and super-sensitive at intervals. My pants drive me crazy, accidentally running my toe across something is like nails on a chalk board to me, so grating it makes me feel a little naseous, and when my hand goes into super sensitive mode it actually hurts. I hope I get a call tomorrow! I don't like being whiney!

Numbed by Time

Phew, so much to do, so little time. I'll make this as short and sweet and non-whiny as possible. :o)

It seems that I am finally settling into the busy mommy phase. For quite a while there I had lots of time to take and process photos, to blog, to clean (hah, right!), to do whatever I wanted with my time. But now, instead of being a sleepy-head, Emma is just a ball of energy, wanting to play, talk (or coo), be walked around and otherwise occupy my time. So I am struggling to keep up with my other stuff and finding less and less time and fewer opportunities to take photos and let's just forget about the house cleaning. I realized the other day that as I clean the other one comes right behind me and makes more messes...it's almost comical. She also comes right behind me and leaves her little cars, so that when I turn away from the kitchen sink I almost always collide with something and barely escape disaster. My sister and I had a good laugh about that when we noticed the habit a few weeks ago.

On another note, I'm only slightly concerned that I am having some numbness in my left hand and left leg...it must be a pinched nerve but the doc. seemed confused that I would have both hand and leg numbness at the same time. I also have tingles in my left foot every time I look down. The strange thing is that my back doesn't hurt any more than normal, I haven't lost any strength thankfully and I can't pin-point anything that would have triggered this, it's all sorts of strange. So, the doc. ordered an MRI (no x-ray since I'm still breast feeding). Hopefully it's nothing more than a pinched nerve and I have a crooked spine...i know I do...and it's just causing all sorts of weirdo things to occur. I think a little physical therapy is in order!!! I hope so anyway.

So the pic above is from me jumping out of the car on the way to get it washed. I saw all these birds on the lines and they kept lifting off and taking flight. By the time I changed my lens though, they were settling down a bit and we had to go, grouchy baby and all that! I'll take what I can get though.