homesickness...

...has seriously set in. I just can't wait to get back to my newly painted living room, kitchen and dining room, my art stuff, my kitchen with real utencils and pans, my washer and dryer, my bed, my cats, my plants, baby's toys, baby's crib, our own tub!!!! It's all calling to me. I need to get out of here!!!

I'm tired of hearing my ten other neighbor's toilets flush and their doors slam and the elevator doors opening and closing. I'm even tired of the maids that come in and invade my space. Who thought I'd ever get tired of having a maid????

I want to get back to the land where everyone moves twice as fast but still has time for a smile and a nice hello. Where people see you in a crosswalk and actually stop to allow you to cross the street. Where people politely hold open the door for a mother who's pushing a stroller with one hand and holding her child in the other.

I want to get back home, where, no matter how hot it is, you can still breath easily and never feel like you're breathing through mud. Where you're not a little nervous whenever those severe weather alerts pop up during the day...I'll gladly take an earthquake to a tornado anyday!!!!

I want to know that the ocean is only an hour or two away. I miss the ocean.

I can't wait for mine and bug's long walks along the river, where there are moments when all you hear are the birds, the rushing water and the wind rustling the leaves in the canopy of trees. Where the deer pop out of the brush unexpectedly to cross the trail in front of you...the wild turkey's gobbling with their babies and grazing in the grass, the squirrels darting from tree to tree, the beautiful cranes swooping low over the water.

I miss home.

I am a SAHM...BUUUUUUT

I don't define myself by my 'stay at home mom' status, but others apparently do. We are away from home, meeting some coworkers of my husbands from the company here and the question comes up of the other spouses "what do you do?" but no one seems to think to ask me. Somehow, it's been established that I'm a SAHM and I guess that should be it, right? That's what I do, that's who I am...but it's not. I guess I define myself most often as an artist. That's what I associate myself with, that's my identity...besides the other little quirks that make up my personality, and yes, somewhat I define myself as a SAHM...but I was an artist long before my daughter came along and I will remain an artist long after my daughter moves away from home.

I guess it's asking too much to expect people to see past the SAHM in me. I just feel a bit invisible under the definintion.