...is generally how I want to start all of my posts. Anxious, elated, stressed, cranky, crazy, creative, poetic, lame, impatient, frustrated, enrgetic, tired, in-love...you name it, I've felt it this month, this weekend, today (especially today). Today is an anxious, loving, half-baked, don't know whether to go left, right, up or down kind of day. Racked with this feeling that something is about to happen (can you say baby) and yet completely in the dark as to when and if I'll be able to get family here in time and if I'll have the house cleaned enough, the laundry done, etc.
I took care of a lot of this over the weekend, but my anxiety stems from the fact that this is not permanent. It's never permanent. The minute I turn my back, the crayons that were picked up are once again strewn across the floor, the laundry that I meticulously washed and folded also strewn across the floor, the soap scum building once again around the tub that was cleaned less than 24 hours ago, the dishes piling in the sink. Phew, if only time would stand still, as still as I feel I need to be in my waiting state.
I could name all the reasons I want her to be born right now, but I won't. It just is. I just do.
No comments:
Post a Comment