I Can't Sleep...

...weeellll, most of the time I can but I keep having these ideas for dolls/plush animals and until I act on them I can't sleep. I tried so hard the other day to take a nap with my daughter but this doll idea popped into my head and my wheels began turning and I think that was the longest couple of hours stuck waiting for my daughter to wake up...she was sleeping on me you see and generally if that's how she falls asleep that's how I stay or she will wake up and be grouchy and make it impossible for me to get anything done. I'm justing waiting to see how that pans out when the new one comes along...eeeek.

So, as soon as I could, I got up and started sketching and making my pattern and cutting and then I made my doll. And I liked her. But she needed some tweaking. So, I went back to the drawing board and came up with this one.









She's a keeper. She's all fininshed and super cute. (I'm not sure why but I just fall in love with all these plush babies I've been making...I suppose that's a good thing). Anyhow, her dress is completely removable so that she can wear any dress I make for her and I plan on making several. So far she's not up on ETSY but I think after I have a friend or two for her they will all show up there for the party.

Plumi Animals!!!

My new line of origami inspired plush animals (I call them Plumi!) is now posted up on Etsy!!!! Check out heidiherrera.etsy.com to see them close up!!!!

Melancholy Follows

A Tree With Heart, originally uploaded by LaundryGirlPhotog.

There is a melancholy that follows me. I try so hard not to let it in, but it does not redirect itself so easily.

It's interesting that I find the same melancholy haunting others as well...very busy, that melancholy. There is a similar theme among the other blogs that I read lately. At first I thought I was lucky because I've been so happy, but I guess it's time for my visit now. So, I was thinking I should write a list of some things that I'm thankful for right now...

#1 -- I am so thankful for my daughter. She's so cute and funny. We watched Enchanted tonight, it was the first movie she has ever been INTO. She cried when anything bad happened to the Chipmunk, she laughed when he got away, she cried when she thought Gisele was leaving, she was all smiles when she came back and she cheered at the end of the movie. She surprises me...she's not even 2 yet and for her to understand what was happening was amazing to me.

#2 -- I am so thankful for my backyard. I know it's an odd thing to be thankful for, but for the first time since we moved in it actually looks good and feels comfortable to spend time in. I just spent a week pulling out dead blackberry bushes and landscaping the retaining wall...just simple things that make it feel oh-so homey. And with the new grass that we had put in last year and Lily's new slide and her little sandbox, it's the best thing to go back there and spend some time everyday. Plus, the birds are out and about and the bird houses that we've got out are quickly becoming crowded.

#3 -- I'm thankful for the warm weather.

#4 -- I'm thankful that home-grown herb season is here again!

#5 -- I'm thankful for my camera. Though I haven't taken pictures in a week I feel like it's an essential outlet for my creativity when I find other things take too much of my time or energy, especially since I'm slowing way down with the impending arrival of baby.

#6 -- I'm thankful for the farmer's market. We are so lucky to have a year-round farmer's market just down the road from us. When most markets don't start up until May or later we've got fabulous fresh asparagus, broccoli, fennel, carrots, mushrooms, apples, strawberries, oranges, kiwi, you name it...it's amazing and so much fun to come up with new recipes for everything!

#7 -- I can't stress how thankful I am that I am close to the end of this pregnancy. I am soooo ready to hold my baby in my arms and not in my belly!!! I just hope she's an early or at least on-time arrival, unlike her sister who was two-weeks-to-the-day LATE!!!!

#8 -- I am thankful every time my husband does the dishes and picks up around the house which has been fairly frequent lately. I am just so tired from all the spring-cleaning I've been doing lately and sometimes I just don't want to clean the kitchen for a third time today or pick up anymore cheerios off the floor.

#9 -- I am thankful for the library...who doesn't just LOVE the library????? Such a money saver!

#10 -- I am soooooo, soooo, soooo thankful that I do not have swollen feet and ankles!!!! Yipee Skippy!

Me Challenge #1

I've spent nearly two years doing some down and dirty soul searching. I suppose we are all doing a bit of that everyday...but I finally wanted some solid answers...some epiphany to tell me why I feel and act the way I do.

Well, I have finally found my epiphany and it is this...there are no answers...and that's a good thing...because with that I have gained an amazing sense of freedom. I make my own answers. I make my life happy or sad or full of anger and resentment. I hide myself away or share ME with the world. I reflect my personal feelings on those around me and shut them out/shut them down, or I allow them to shout in joy or whisper in contentment to me and anyone else with an open heart just who they are.

I've known for a long time that my general M.O. is that I am a one-woman machine. I can do it all on my own...I don't need any help from anyone.

I don't know where this stems from. I'm sure I could go through hours of therapy to figure it out, but why bother? I have accepted that this has been my personality for years and years now. I also accept that this has placed me in a steel box...a self-imprisonment if you will. It has effectively shut out others...people who could have been good, even great friends.

I find that I have already softened my position on this when it comes to family. Since the birth of my daughter I have had to accept that I can't do it all on my own. I really had no other option since my husband's family does everything together...which, i admit, was hugely foreign to me in the beggining. Instead of fighting it though, I allowed it. I love our family, I love the help and togetherness they offer and I just sit back and laugh at the squabbles that appear! They always work themselves out and every member of the family knows how lucky they are to have such an open support network.

I have decided to start challenging myself each month. Even writing this I can feel the fear trying to hold me back...it's almost physical in it's strength. One step at a time though and I know it won't be nearly as hard as it seems in this moment and the rewards will be wonderful.

My challenge this month is to start asking my friends for their help. Simple? Not for me. But in time I hope it will be. I hope to forge strong friendships in the future...no more skimming the surface and keeping my distance. I hope in turn they know they can come to me and rely on me when they need it as well. Some of our friends don't have the family support that my husband and I have and I want to build a strong community of support for us all to share.

Sidewalk Chalk Love

Sidewalk Chalk Love, originally uploaded by LaundryGirlPhotog.

Happy Love Thursday!!!

This has been such a speedy week. I feel like it should still be Tuesday. I feel completely unproductive this week...at least in terms of artistic acheivements. My house is pretty clean and my laundry is done...I've made dinner every night this week and those are seriously some of the simple things in life that make me happy and calm and feel centered.

The rest of the week however I will spend on some more artistic endeavors. I really want to get started on the baby onesies that I have designs for and I also want to start experimenting with silk screening, an artform that I have wanted to play with forever now!!! My ultimate goal for the rest of the week though are more photos, photos, photos!!!

Lily and Daddy Snuggle

Lily and Daddy Snuggle, originally uploaded by LaundryGirlPhotog.

This picture makes me smile! A cherished momento for sure!